Ho Hey

I’m listening to The Lumineers and thinking about why life felt okay today. I met a new person today, and it made me feel not hopeless. Although I cannot believe January is almost over, I’m already anticipating February to be the fresh start to 2013 that I truly need. December and most of January were a mess. More of a mess than when I first moved to Boston in August. I feel a bit badly for saying that because I spent most of those months back in Syracuse. I often tried to explain to people that my heart wanted to stay there, but my head wanted to be here. My heart tends to cling to the past. Anyone who knows me knows that. But I don’t think that’s uncommon. Our hearts always remember what it’s like to love a person or a place–and I have so many people and places to love back in Syracuse. I more or less spent the first 21 years of my life there. But I am so adamant about making Boston work for me. And I know I have such a long way to go. And I wish that weren’t so. I wish I could adjust more quickly to a new place. I’m trying to build my adaptation capability. I guess that comfort will only come in time. I’m just ready for all that is new. I have an energy simmering underneath the surface of my skin. I need somebody or something to help me make use of that energy. I want to feel excited. I want this experience here, in Boston, to feel like an adventure. Because it is. Because I’m doing something I never imagined I would or could ever possibly do. But I think the best stuff comes from taking a chance like this. I’m ready to take on the year.